Summit Hash 1188
Date: November 22, 2008
Time: 3PM
Weather: a chilly 28°, perfect for hashing.
Place: Shrewsbury Ave, Livingston, NJ
Hare: Breaststroke
Hashers: (11) Anal Lick it All, Clitty Litter (NR), Dog E Style, Dogmeat, Keyhole, Massengil, Orgasmitron, Plattypussie, Rat Bastard, Seoul Brudda, and SOS
Start:
As described in his email, the hare mentioned the hash started at a nondescript park with no name and no sign. One proposal could be: “The new park next to the hill with the high tension line and electrical transfer station”, but that may be too wordy for a sign.
It may be imagination, but it seemed that the pack was late to arrive at the start. Those that got there a little early were very slow to get out of their cars. One’s explanation was that he wanted to listen to the end of the song. Another’s was he couldn’t make his socks fit right. In any event, only a Canadian and a notoriously weather-impervious hasher were comfortable standing in the parking area prior to the chalk-talk.
Trail:
One hasher’s estimation of the eagle trail: http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=2419069
The above depicted trail was shortened considerably for those chickens that opted out of the eagle flight and associated exposure and hypothermia risks.
Once in all noses, toes and fingers were accounted for. With little delay, the hare set up cups and slushy beers for the ensuing circle.
Circle:
The official scribe pen refused to give up its ink so any notes of the circle were left unwritten, and thus unremembered.
Some of the highlights featured the Grandmaster.
Rat Bastard, was accused of swiping a few wooden planks that were left in the woods.
The GM was also called into the circle when word got out that his green card just kept him from being deported. The sham wedding held on Whomp em’s deck sure came in handy. You see, Rat Bastard ‘married’ YAAC, and was awarded a Green Card.
It’s worth noting that in the procedure, YAAC would have had to:
• Prove that she can support the Rat at 125% above the mandated poverty line, by filling out an Affidavit of Support
The other way of achieving permanent resident status is through ones employer. Unfortunately for the Rat, the employer that Memory has no more use for his “expertise”, and sent him packing.
Financial sidebar:
Savvy hasher investors, should have used that news to buy up all available stock. http://finance.google.com/finance?client=ob&q=NASDAQ:MEMY
Had the hasher bought $1M worth of stock when the markets opened on Monday Nov 24, at $0.14/share on Monday, and sold it on Friday, for .59 they would have netted a cool $3,214,286 (Did Breaststroke get in on that opportunity?)
The US Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) website also lists other criteria to achieve permanent resident status. The grandmaster may have been aware, but now it’s time for the rest of the hash to have access to that information
Eligibility There are categories for granting permanent residence to foreign nationals based upon employment:
EB-1 Priority workers
• Foreign nationals of extraordinary ability in the sciences, arts, education, business or athletics
• Foreign national that are outstanding professors or researchers
Rat could have qualified, but maybe not as an athlete.
EB-4 Special Immigrants
• Foreign national religious workers
The Rat’s tenure as our Religious Advisor would certainly have qualified him on this count.
Meanwhile, back at the parking lot
The hare opted to conduct the circle in the frigid parking lot. He told the shivering schmucks that the On-On was “A family place, they wouldn’t understand if we tried to circle inside”. Later he would be proved correct.
The circle continued for a few other observations and accusations (Yes including the last of Dogmeat’s self promotion). It was abbreviated by the weather and the law.
The circle was brought to an abrupt end with the arrival of a Livingston Police sergeant. He sped into the parking lot with his spotlight trained on the now-empty beer cans next on the hood of the hare’s car. Without hesitation, the hare approached the cop and tried to explain things. Where in the Sgt. gave the hash excellent legal advice: “Hide the beer” in case one of the younger cops patrols by. The sarge even called out to “Mr. Johnson” for information about this event for his patrol log. Later the hare acknowledged that “I know that guy”. It’s good to be king…or at least a future first dude of Livingston.
The hare and pack then made themselves busy by cleaning up the crime scene by destroying any and all evidence.
ON ON
Breaststroke saw that as an excellent opportunity to vacate the premises. He directed the pack to Gaffers Pub in West Orange. As he predicted the place was packed but very warm and accommodating. The lovely waitress Debby “with and ie as in Debbie”, made sure the table was flowing with one of the many beers they had on tap. The food was mostly burgers, but excellent burgers –on par with the Roscommon House in Belleville.
Sooner or later the beer ran out, as did what was left of the pack.
On Out,
Dog E Style
Scribe, SHHH
DES/mmi
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Summit Full moon HHH #101
SFMHHH Run #101
When: Monday November 10, 2008 at 7pm
Where: Starting on the South side of Route 22 at the intersection of North Broad Street and Central Ave/Evans Terminal Rd., Hillside, NJ
Weather: 45° windy, and partly cloudy
Moon Phase: waxing gibbous with 91% of the Moon's visible disk illuminated
Hare: Loco Morrow
Hashers (12) Comfy Hole, Dog E Style, Finger In, GI, Great Sex, Just Mark, Keyhole, Loogie, Massengil, Rear End Wrangler, Tubslut, UrangUtang,
The pack gathered under the watchful eye of a bimbo Hillside cop. She patrolled the industrial dead-end street as if it was a crime in progress. It may be unusual for a dozen hashers to gather in an industrial area, parking their vehicles among the semi-trailers. She was notably disappointed when the perps started running toward the woods, and out of her jurisdiction.
The hare gave a half-floured chalk talk. He had to dip into the recesses of his bag to produce enough to make a visible mark on the pavement. It would soon become apparent that he used sufficient quantities on his trail.
As he could no longer control the restive pack, he sent them down the Evans Terminal Rd toward their fate. His last shout was for the pack to try to figure out whom the statute embodied. “Free beer to anyone who can figure it out!”
Trail:
URL for this route is: http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=2387927 (Close enough for scribe work)
The pack soon split into self-appointed chickens and eagles, we were reunited within a few minutes for the slog up an embankment and into http://www.newarkhistory.com/weequahicpark.html. We ran around and around this beautifully landscaped urban oasis. We saw most of the views depicted in the above link. However, some were darker than in the old photos.
Loco’s careful and artfully arranged checks kept the hashers within sight of each other for the first part of the hash. Some of the checks sent adventurous suburbanites into the heart of the biggest city in the state. They either were checking or just wanted to get a close-up of a drive-by, or other felony in progress. The perceptive hashers stayed in the confines of the 311-acre Frederick Law Olmsted-designed Weequahic Park.
By and by the hashers came across the above mentioned statue of “Franklin Murphy 846 - 192”
The statue was unveiled in November of 1925 with the inscription:
A END :F HUMANI:Y ENDOWED ::ITH
RA:E ::VI: ZEAL :ND EXE:UTIVE F:
RE :IGHT: AN: ::G:NIZER :::::ER ::: ::::: ::
::::::: :::: :
The trail laid by the hare did not venture out, until the welcome beer check on the very outskirts of the greenery. The police –“for our safety”, supervised the beer-check.
After the BC the trail went back into Weequahic for the most part on a comfy rubberized winding running path. Before departing the park, the hare took the pack past the golf course, not just any golf course; it’s the oldest public golf course in the United States. Weequahic Golf Course: “$20 twilight fees*” as pointed out by Comfy Hole.
*Includes golf cart when available.
After the BC and a well executed ABJ the chickens and eagles bid adieu for the rest of the trail. The poultry hashers stayed along the lake and eventually back in the way they started. The Raptor group hit the streets and up to the gates of the cemetery, was content to follow the marks… Then it got screwed up –the hare had apparently set the trail through the graveyard before 4:45PM. When the pack arrived, they saw the sign telling them to go mourn elsewhere. The gates closed at 4:45PM
That was too bad, Evergreen Cemetery the final resting spot of a few authors whose books we came to know in grade school:
· Stephen Crane (1871-1900), author, best known for his 1895 book The Red Badge of Courage.
· Mary Mapes Dodge (1831-1905), author best known for her 1865 novel Hans Brinker or the Silver Skates.
· Edward Stratemeyer (1862-1930), author and creator of The Hardy Boys (1927) and Nancy Drew (1930) book series.
Undeterred, the pack figured out the hare’s intent and circumnavigated the bone-yard until they found themselves on North Broad St and subsequently Evans Terminal Rd.
Once we were all reconvened in the parking lot, and had a refreshing Estonian beer, the hare gave us Mighty fine directions to the On-On: Rei Da Manivela Translation: King of the winch (or handle used for cranking) for barbecued ribs and chicken.
Within minutes, the full mooners were re-reconvened at a table for 12 in the Portuguese restaurant at, 1452 Lower Road in Elizabeth. Translation: o restaurante português em, mais baixa estrada 1452 em Elizabeth
Circle:
The circle was called to order by the Trail-Master, Massengil at 9:40
LocoMorrow, the hare was given the customary down-down.
UrangUtang, A visitor from Harrisburg Pa was stood up for his welcome to the neighborhood down-down.
Tub Slut was called on for delaying the hash. He was seen following the train tracks toward Philadelphia and parts south. The sight of him on the tracks with his bright light, provoked the image of Hookerman, a New Jersey (sub)urban legend.
During the above business, the server started delivering food to the obviously distracted hashers. Massengil put the circle into intermission at 9:44.
This intermission was not just for white wine and making clever remarks about the first act … oh no, this was filled with the filling of faces. The tables were soon covered end to end with roasted chicken and bbq ribs supplemented with heaping piles of white rice and Monte de French fries.
At 10:21 the lights flickered and the hashers returned to their seats for the resumption of the circle.
Back to the question of the identity of the above-above mention statue. Some guesses included, Eddie Murphy, Freddie Mercury, Benjamin Franklin, and Murphy Brown. The hare declared none to be correct but everyone got all the beer they could handle.
Continuing with the circle, the FRBs was determined to be Keyhole, though his accomplishment of “winning the hash” was disputed by many.
DFL: Tub Slut for not coming in when he should have. He spent way too much time on the train tracks.
The hare was accused of staging an abduction; he snatched Tub Slut off the trail and into his car, very much against his will.
About this time it became apparent that we could say and/or sing any words we wanted since we were the only ones in the place that spoke English.
For sprinting to the beer-check, Dog E Style was at the very front of the pack well into the hash.
For being an over-achiever and thus with surprising energy, Dog E Style. His weekend consisted of Friday: setting Saturday’s Summit trail, Friday night Bimbo hash, Saturday McGuire Mud Run, Saturday Summit Hash, and Sunday: Rumson’s Hashathon and this hash on Monday. Way too much hashing/ running for such an individual.
With that the curtain came down on the second act of the Circle. Massengil bid us peace at 10:33
There were some announcements but time and space precludes their inclusion in this space.
On Out,
DogE Style
Scribe/On-Sec
Summit FM HHH
When: Monday November 10, 2008 at 7pm
Where: Starting on the South side of Route 22 at the intersection of North Broad Street and Central Ave/Evans Terminal Rd., Hillside, NJ
Weather: 45° windy, and partly cloudy
Moon Phase: waxing gibbous with 91% of the Moon's visible disk illuminated
Hare: Loco Morrow
Hashers (12) Comfy Hole, Dog E Style, Finger In, GI, Great Sex, Just Mark, Keyhole, Loogie, Massengil, Rear End Wrangler, Tubslut, UrangUtang,
The pack gathered under the watchful eye of a bimbo Hillside cop. She patrolled the industrial dead-end street as if it was a crime in progress. It may be unusual for a dozen hashers to gather in an industrial area, parking their vehicles among the semi-trailers. She was notably disappointed when the perps started running toward the woods, and out of her jurisdiction.
The hare gave a half-floured chalk talk. He had to dip into the recesses of his bag to produce enough to make a visible mark on the pavement. It would soon become apparent that he used sufficient quantities on his trail.
As he could no longer control the restive pack, he sent them down the Evans Terminal Rd toward their fate. His last shout was for the pack to try to figure out whom the statute embodied. “Free beer to anyone who can figure it out!”
Trail:
URL for this route is: http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=2387927 (Close enough for scribe work)
The pack soon split into self-appointed chickens and eagles, we were reunited within a few minutes for the slog up an embankment and into http://www.newarkhistory.com/weequahicpark.html. We ran around and around this beautifully landscaped urban oasis. We saw most of the views depicted in the above link. However, some were darker than in the old photos.
Loco’s careful and artfully arranged checks kept the hashers within sight of each other for the first part of the hash. Some of the checks sent adventurous suburbanites into the heart of the biggest city in the state. They either were checking or just wanted to get a close-up of a drive-by, or other felony in progress. The perceptive hashers stayed in the confines of the 311-acre Frederick Law Olmsted-designed Weequahic Park.
By and by the hashers came across the above mentioned statue of “Franklin Murphy 846 - 192”
The statue was unveiled in November of 1925 with the inscription:
A END :F HUMANI:Y ENDOWED ::ITH
RA:E ::VI: ZEAL :ND EXE:UTIVE F:
RE :IGHT: AN: ::G:NIZER :::::ER ::: ::::: ::
::::::: :::: :
The trail laid by the hare did not venture out, until the welcome beer check on the very outskirts of the greenery. The police –“for our safety”, supervised the beer-check.
After the BC the trail went back into Weequahic for the most part on a comfy rubberized winding running path. Before departing the park, the hare took the pack past the golf course, not just any golf course; it’s the oldest public golf course in the United States. Weequahic Golf Course: “$20 twilight fees*” as pointed out by Comfy Hole.
*Includes golf cart when available.
After the BC and a well executed ABJ the chickens and eagles bid adieu for the rest of the trail. The poultry hashers stayed along the lake and eventually back in the way they started. The Raptor group hit the streets and up to the gates of the cemetery, was content to follow the marks… Then it got screwed up –the hare had apparently set the trail through the graveyard before 4:45PM. When the pack arrived, they saw the sign telling them to go mourn elsewhere. The gates closed at 4:45PM
That was too bad, Evergreen Cemetery the final resting spot of a few authors whose books we came to know in grade school:
· Stephen Crane (1871-1900), author, best known for his 1895 book The Red Badge of Courage.
· Mary Mapes Dodge (1831-1905), author best known for her 1865 novel Hans Brinker or the Silver Skates.
· Edward Stratemeyer (1862-1930), author and creator of The Hardy Boys (1927) and Nancy Drew (1930) book series.
Undeterred, the pack figured out the hare’s intent and circumnavigated the bone-yard until they found themselves on North Broad St and subsequently Evans Terminal Rd.
Once we were all reconvened in the parking lot, and had a refreshing Estonian beer, the hare gave us Mighty fine directions to the On-On: Rei Da Manivela Translation: King of the winch (or handle used for cranking) for barbecued ribs and chicken.
Within minutes, the full mooners were re-reconvened at a table for 12 in the Portuguese restaurant at, 1452 Lower Road in Elizabeth. Translation: o restaurante português em, mais baixa estrada 1452 em Elizabeth
Circle:
The circle was called to order by the Trail-Master, Massengil at 9:40
LocoMorrow, the hare was given the customary down-down.
UrangUtang, A visitor from Harrisburg Pa was stood up for his welcome to the neighborhood down-down.
Tub Slut was called on for delaying the hash. He was seen following the train tracks toward Philadelphia and parts south. The sight of him on the tracks with his bright light, provoked the image of Hookerman, a New Jersey (sub)urban legend.
During the above business, the server started delivering food to the obviously distracted hashers. Massengil put the circle into intermission at 9:44.
This intermission was not just for white wine and making clever remarks about the first act … oh no, this was filled with the filling of faces. The tables were soon covered end to end with roasted chicken and bbq ribs supplemented with heaping piles of white rice and Monte de French fries.
At 10:21 the lights flickered and the hashers returned to their seats for the resumption of the circle.
Back to the question of the identity of the above-above mention statue. Some guesses included, Eddie Murphy, Freddie Mercury, Benjamin Franklin, and Murphy Brown. The hare declared none to be correct but everyone got all the beer they could handle.
Continuing with the circle, the FRBs was determined to be Keyhole, though his accomplishment of “winning the hash” was disputed by many.
DFL: Tub Slut for not coming in when he should have. He spent way too much time on the train tracks.
The hare was accused of staging an abduction; he snatched Tub Slut off the trail and into his car, very much against his will.
About this time it became apparent that we could say and/or sing any words we wanted since we were the only ones in the place that spoke English.
For sprinting to the beer-check, Dog E Style was at the very front of the pack well into the hash.
For being an over-achiever and thus with surprising energy, Dog E Style. His weekend consisted of Friday: setting Saturday’s Summit trail, Friday night Bimbo hash, Saturday McGuire Mud Run, Saturday Summit Hash, and Sunday: Rumson’s Hashathon and this hash on Monday. Way too much hashing/ running for such an individual.
With that the curtain came down on the second act of the Circle. Massengil bid us peace at 10:33
There were some announcements but time and space precludes their inclusion in this space.
On Out,
DogE Style
Scribe/On-Sec
Summit FM HHH
Monday, June 16, 2008
Hash 1155. Sick Dick does SummerVille
--Still under construction--
SummerVILLE MEMORIAL DAY HASH
“On Memorial Day in Somerville there are parties through the entire town. Bands will be playing, bikes will be racing, beer will be flowing and Hashers will be Hashing.” –Sick Dick
Summit Hash: 1155
When: Memorial Day, Monday, May 26, 2008, 12:00 pm.
Where: Parking lot behind 34 East Main Street, Somerville NJ 08876.
Hare: Sick Dick
Hashers: (18) Anal Lick it All, cereal Killer, Dancin’ Fool, Dog E Style, Finger In (NR), GI, Great Sex, Just Bernadette, Just Adrian, Lil Sacs, Massengil, No Genitals, Prodigy, Rear End Wrangler, Suck ‘em Up, Sweet Pee, Tub Slut, and Twatever
Excused absence: Rat Bastard, and YAAC (paddling)
Also: Anya, Calvin, Kyle, Leo, Lloyd, Lydia, and Quinn.
With the special start time, the pack was ready and eager for a world-class hash. What they got was a world-class race. No, that ‘r’ word doesn’t need to be censored, since it wasn’t a running race, it was gol-durned Bie-cycle races. This was an ‘event’, not just a hash. The Tour of Somerville was happening just outside Sick Dick’s apartment.
Trail:
The trail was promised to be “Short and clean”. For the most part, the hare delivered. Sick Dick, set the trail while sporting an ankle brace for sympathy points. The hare attempted to explain the nature of his injury and how he was a hero at the fire scene, but his oft-repeated tale was met with yawns and a quick retreat.
He enlisted the help of his friend Just Adrian to drop flour in designated spots. The trail followed the bike race course, generally staying a block or so from the cyclists. The hash pack got a few views of the cycle pack (peleton) on some of the preliminary races. The hare included some historical areas including a house that Washington schlepped in. Also as promised, “There will be an eagle and a stroller friendly chicken trail”. The hare held true to his words here too. He arranged three beer checks. Two were in the yard of his friends, the third being at Adrian’s house. Interestingly, the middle beer-check was under a bridge, which begs the question, “Does the hare have a troll as a friend?”
Each chicken/eagle section reunited with the other at the next beer check, that’s a nice format for any hash.
Circle:
The circle was more-or-less obligatory and abbreviated. There was racin’ to watch. Finger had a hand in the running.
FRB: Anal, Prodigy, Sweet Pee,DFL: Dog E, Wrangler, Dancin’ Fool.
Non-runner: Finger InVirgin: Just Adrian
Visitor: Dancin’ Fool
Reboot: Sweet PeeHanger On: Just Bernadette (formerly know as the Gucci Girlfriend)
For one or more of those recognitions, Lil Sacs led the pack in a hashed-out version of “The Hee-Haw song”. He was the only one who knew it –go figure.
Some more down-downs:
Stroller pushers: Anal, cK, Prodigy. Suck ‘em Up, Sweet Pee, and Twatever
Sick Dick for announcing that this trail would be “completely new”, when in reality, it was a clone of last year’s trail.
For being conned into hosting a beer check; Just Adrian
Those with better note taking skills and/or a longer attention span might have included other items on the above list.
With that the circle was mercifully brought to a swift conclusion.
Tour of Somerville
"The Kentucky Derby of Cycling" The Tour is the oldest bicycle race in the United States and a legend in the lore of bicycle racing.
The hare then gave a down and dirty orientation to the bike race. The race is ‘criterium’ style. The start/finish line was about 200 yards from the hare’s apartment. The racers would make 45 laps in the 50-miles race. He also mentioned that there was a nearby petting zoo, but warned against trying to pet the cyclists.
“Sit back and watch the race”
200 yards from the start finish line… but unfortunately 25 yards from the play-by-play speaker’s range. So for the hasher to find out what lap or who was ahead, they would have to walk that distance.
Watching the race was not for the fainthearted. The hashers saw at least two major Nascar-style crashes. Interestingly it wasn’t the sharp left turn that produced the mayhem; it was the rough asphalt on the straightaway. The “primes”, (cash awarded to lap leader) may have also contributed to the mishaps. Dog E, an avid cycling fan, gave color commentary and rule interpretation as the race was in progress. Of the 186 riders in men’s division only 108 finished
At one point, some nearby spectators tried to encourage their friend ‘Gilbert’ but alas, he was a DNF, nearly DFL.
A HARLEY-DAVIDSON rider led for most of the race, but as you will see from the below photos, he finished third.
“Lucas Sebastian Haedo from Argentina, the pre-race favorite, bypassed a crash on the last lap and won the elite men's 50-mile race by a tire's length, in 1:43.20”. –103 minutes! Damn!!
If the scribe’s math is right, if not look for corrections in this space, the peleton’s (pack) average speed was 29.1 MPH over the 50 miles
For magazine quality photos, click this link: Finger In on the shutter
http://www.kodakgallery.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?UV=680849493651_749209481307&collid=354581300207.914531351307.1213623160031&page=1
The bike race in progress Haedo’s winning moment Silver, Gold and Bronze
DFL WITH FPC
On Out,
DogE Style
Scribe, SHHH
SummerVILLE MEMORIAL DAY HASH
“On Memorial Day in Somerville there are parties through the entire town. Bands will be playing, bikes will be racing, beer will be flowing and Hashers will be Hashing.” –Sick Dick
Summit Hash: 1155
When: Memorial Day, Monday, May 26, 2008, 12:00 pm.
Where: Parking lot behind 34 East Main Street, Somerville NJ 08876.
Hare: Sick Dick
Hashers: (18) Anal Lick it All, cereal Killer, Dancin’ Fool, Dog E Style, Finger In (NR), GI, Great Sex, Just Bernadette, Just Adrian, Lil Sacs, Massengil, No Genitals, Prodigy, Rear End Wrangler, Suck ‘em Up, Sweet Pee, Tub Slut, and Twatever
Excused absence: Rat Bastard, and YAAC (paddling)
Also: Anya, Calvin, Kyle, Leo, Lloyd, Lydia, and Quinn.
With the special start time, the pack was ready and eager for a world-class hash. What they got was a world-class race. No, that ‘r’ word doesn’t need to be censored, since it wasn’t a running race, it was gol-durned Bie-cycle races. This was an ‘event’, not just a hash. The Tour of Somerville was happening just outside Sick Dick’s apartment.
Trail:
The trail was promised to be “Short and clean”. For the most part, the hare delivered. Sick Dick, set the trail while sporting an ankle brace for sympathy points. The hare attempted to explain the nature of his injury and how he was a hero at the fire scene, but his oft-repeated tale was met with yawns and a quick retreat.
He enlisted the help of his friend Just Adrian to drop flour in designated spots. The trail followed the bike race course, generally staying a block or so from the cyclists. The hash pack got a few views of the cycle pack (peleton) on some of the preliminary races. The hare included some historical areas including a house that Washington schlepped in. Also as promised, “There will be an eagle and a stroller friendly chicken trail”. The hare held true to his words here too. He arranged three beer checks. Two were in the yard of his friends, the third being at Adrian’s house. Interestingly, the middle beer-check was under a bridge, which begs the question, “Does the hare have a troll as a friend?”
Each chicken/eagle section reunited with the other at the next beer check, that’s a nice format for any hash.
Circle:
The circle was more-or-less obligatory and abbreviated. There was racin’ to watch. Finger had a hand in the running.
FRB: Anal, Prodigy, Sweet Pee,DFL: Dog E, Wrangler, Dancin’ Fool.
Non-runner: Finger InVirgin: Just Adrian
Visitor: Dancin’ Fool
Reboot: Sweet PeeHanger On: Just Bernadette (formerly know as the Gucci Girlfriend)
For one or more of those recognitions, Lil Sacs led the pack in a hashed-out version of “The Hee-Haw song”. He was the only one who knew it –go figure.
Some more down-downs:
Stroller pushers: Anal, cK, Prodigy. Suck ‘em Up, Sweet Pee, and Twatever
Sick Dick for announcing that this trail would be “completely new”, when in reality, it was a clone of last year’s trail.
For being conned into hosting a beer check; Just Adrian
Those with better note taking skills and/or a longer attention span might have included other items on the above list.
With that the circle was mercifully brought to a swift conclusion.
Tour of Somerville
"The Kentucky Derby of Cycling" The Tour is the oldest bicycle race in the United States and a legend in the lore of bicycle racing.
The hare then gave a down and dirty orientation to the bike race. The race is ‘criterium’ style. The start/finish line was about 200 yards from the hare’s apartment. The racers would make 45 laps in the 50-miles race. He also mentioned that there was a nearby petting zoo, but warned against trying to pet the cyclists.
“Sit back and watch the race”
200 yards from the start finish line… but unfortunately 25 yards from the play-by-play speaker’s range. So for the hasher to find out what lap or who was ahead, they would have to walk that distance.
Watching the race was not for the fainthearted. The hashers saw at least two major Nascar-style crashes. Interestingly it wasn’t the sharp left turn that produced the mayhem; it was the rough asphalt on the straightaway. The “primes”, (cash awarded to lap leader) may have also contributed to the mishaps. Dog E, an avid cycling fan, gave color commentary and rule interpretation as the race was in progress. Of the 186 riders in men’s division only 108 finished
At one point, some nearby spectators tried to encourage their friend ‘Gilbert’ but alas, he was a DNF, nearly DFL.
A HARLEY-DAVIDSON rider led for most of the race, but as you will see from the below photos, he finished third.
“Lucas Sebastian Haedo from Argentina, the pre-race favorite, bypassed a crash on the last lap and won the elite men's 50-mile race by a tire's length, in 1:43.20”. –103 minutes! Damn!!
If the scribe’s math is right, if not look for corrections in this space, the peleton’s (pack) average speed was 29.1 MPH over the 50 miles
For magazine quality photos, click this link: Finger In on the shutter
http://www.kodakgallery.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?UV=680849493651_749209481307&collid=354581300207.914531351307.1213623160031&page=1
The bike race in progress Haedo’s winning moment Silver, Gold and Bronze
DFL WITH FPC
On Out,
DogE Style
Scribe, SHHH
Sunday, June 1, 2008
May 19, 8 #1153 Wrangler's BD hash
Hash # 1153
When: Monday 19 May; 7pm
Where: Millburn train station
Hare: Wrangler
Hashers: Some people showed up, some people didn't
TRAIL
Sucked
CIRCLE:
Some down-downs were given out
On On:
OK enough, I guess.
On Out:
Dog E
Did I leave anything out?
*************************************
Sorry, the scribe took the notes, he might as well type them up and send ‘em out:
Voilà…
Summit Hash 1153 and Full Moon 95
Wrangler's BD & Hashing with SH3 Analversary Trivia Hash
Where: Millburn Train Station; Lackawanna Place Parking Lot
Weather: 60° with rapidly gathering darkness (Perfect for hashing)
When: Monday 19 May; 7pm
Hare: Rear End Wrangler
Hashers: (20) Breaststroke, Camel Bowels, Comfy Hole, DogE Style, Dogmeat, GI, HazMatt, Just Eric, Just George, Just Murray, Keyhole, LocoMorrow, Loogy, Massengil,
Miscast, Rat Bastard, Seoul Brudda, Street Lane, Suck ‘em Up, and Twatever.
As a birthday surprise, the Full Moon trail master, gave Wrangler the honor and privilege of setting the May full moon hash as well. This present was unwrapped in an email the previous day.
Subject: The NEXT Summit Full Moon Hash!!!
Date: Sunday, May 18, 2008 9:29:14 PM
Finally, just when you thought the SFMHHH Trail Master was out to lunch:
Run # 95
Where: Millburn Train Station
When: 7:15pm SHARP (Monday 19 May)
Hare: Just Frank
Good Trail, Good Beer, Good Times.
Given that responsibility, and with less than 24 hours to prepare, Wrangler knew he had to set a trail that met the high standards set forth by the Full Moon hash.
The pack had been forewarned to bring a flashlight, or in the European vernacular, a torch. Such and implement proved critical to the success of the hash.
At the appointed hour, the hare gave his chalk talk, or in this case Sheetrock talk. (This construction material, proved itself a worthy as a means of setting trail) “Because up to 17% of drywall is wasted during the manufacturing and installation processes and the drywall material is rarely re-used, disposal has become a problem” –until now. The hare gave the material a big thumbs up, indicating that he would use this technique when he travels to Amsterd*m next week to be the hare. Hares everywhere should consider the benefits of Drywall, gypsum board, wallboard, and/or plasterboard for their trail setting needs. It is clean and easy to use and a little goes a long way. The marks are well seen and stay in the rain.
TRAIL
The format of this hash was one successfully employed by previous hares in Westfield and Millburn –the trivia check, wherein the checks were accompanied by a question posted on a nearby telephone pole. See appendix A for a complete listing of questions and correct responses. The possible answers were accompanied by an arrow indicating a possible route, a correct response indicated true trail.
One of the questions involved a calculation, to calculate the hare’s age in dog years. It wasn’t as simple as 45/7, it involved more complex solving scenario. After all these years, Keyhole is catching on about the purpose of a check: He insinuated that without the checks the “run could have been a lot shorter” No shit, Sherlock.
Suck ‘em Up’s “Law of Dog” : for D>2; H(yr) = 10.5*2+4*(D-2) –[Ed. note really the last thingy should be (H-2) but let us not get into an algebra discussion. …Please…] “Monday’s night run could have been a lot shorter if we had been given the rule at the mis-directions chalk talk.” –Keyhole
The Scribe estimates the trail probably looked something like this, except for the parts that were underground:
There may have been water fountains on trail, but MapMyRun doesn't have an icon for Beer check.
TRAIL
After going past the firehouse, and back along the trail tracks a NJ transit train was so interested in the trail that the engineer stopped the train as the hashers pondered the next question near the rail line.
The front-runners became back-runners and the pack winded its way through the streets and tunnels of Millburn.
Les Misérables is set in the Parisian underworld. Jean Valjean would have loved the portion of the trail that has become hash legend. The tunnel still held the rope set there some 10 years ago by Paul Bunion, however the hare took pity on the pack and installed a new sturdy nylon rope, with loops for handholds. That proved essential where the tunnel took a steep decline in its course. Those in the know, were thoroughly amused that those new to this venue tried to step on the sides of the tube, hoping to keep their feet dry. That awkward gait was aborted when the water got deeper and the sides got further away. Wet shoes were had by all.
The scene could also evoke the Dwarfs emerging from their jewel mine:
There might have been some “Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho”s, but the scribe missed that performance.
Ok, enough about that damn tunnel
The format of the hash, and the intentional slow-down though the above mention structure meant that there was no glory for the fleetest. The pack was packed in close proximity for the duration.
After the pack regrouped and headed out, into the dusk, past the high school girls lacrosse practice, it was pretty soon thereafter that the C-E split was posted.
The entirety of the pack was reunited at the beer check. Those on the chicken route arrived about a beer ahead of the eagles. As noted above, and to the credit of the hare’s devious format, the flock of eagles all descended on the beer within a few minutes of each other.
ON-ON
La Strada Restaurante in Millburn.
The venue was familiar to one and all, or at least all who have attended any of the previous President’s Cup 5K Races: http://sneakerfactory.com/pres08.pdf
The Circle was opened by the Summit HHH grandmaster, Rat Bastard at 9:00.
He quickly ceded control to the Full Moon RA, Dogmeat
Even though the hash was inside LaStrada, the circle was a full-throated R-Rated version. (There was no one else in the joint).
FRB: Keyhole
DFL: Loco
Non-runner: Street Lane.
Virgin: Just George, who was brought there by Comfy Hole
Birthday boy: Wrangler who is turning 540 months old.
Slipped out the side door before he could be recognized: Just Eric “I found the toilet paper” Liang.
Reboots: Street Lane, last seen on Whomp em's back deck at the Ides of March Hash, and Just Murray, who ran the hash with a backpack filled with his work clothes. (He didn’t trust anyone at the start to hold it in his car). He apparently rode his bicycle to work, and then joined the hash after changing from his work attire.
Accusations observations
· Massengil accused Camel of ogling the field hockey players. That backfired when another observant hasher accused Massengil of not knowing field hockey from lacrosse. Massengil claimed Camel blurted, “There too old, I mean, I mean not old enough for me”.
· Camel and Just Murray were called up for speaking with too much enthusiasm about their endurance, including how to cum up long hills.
· The monks of St Bernard arrived at 9:10 but Dogmeat persevered.
· Suck ‘em Up was noted to be sporting a piece of apparel that resembled ankle weights. “They’re gaiters!” Whatever.
· Breaststroke was heard by many to brag at the beer check, “I did the eagle trail”
· Camel was stood up as a nearly departed. With each day, his days in NJ are numbered, the number was in the 30’s.
· GI was called up for inadvertently stepping on a dirty American flag. Although he denied the desecration, he was joined by the newly Americanized Camel and newly green-carded Rat.
· As another foreigner, Just George was called forth; his foreign connection is that he lives in Brooklyn. Loogy, laying low in the corner of the bar, was noted to be wearing a marathon shirt.
· DogE was called up for having a raspy voice, “like Lauren Bacall”. This was a remnant of his over stressed voice from the Co-Motion by the Ocean, which wrapped up the day before.
· Just George seems to be catching on. He observed no boobs at the boob check, much to his chagrin.
o To which Suck ‘em Up retorted, “These are breasts, you’re a boob”. Ouch!
Noming:
As the circle was concluding, Twatever got up with something in her hands. She also had Just Matt rise for the occasion. Twat asked Matt to say what he said at the Towaco Train station at a recent hash. He told her “He could only stay for an hour”. And at a subsequent hash, he told the pack that he could only be there for two hours. Each time true to his word, he disappeared at the as the hour drew to a close. For that, Just Matt will be forever known in the hash as “HOURLY RATE”. Twat was also quick to claim that this was Anal’s last gesture as out-going GM. He made his noming from his undisclosed exile island.
The circle concluded at 9:24, not bad for a Dogmeat led affair.
Wrangler then tried to rustle up more hares on behalf of Great Sex.
Hash cash was a mere 5 bucks -thanks to an underwriting grant from the hare.
DogE handed his cash to Massengil, who tried to take advantage of the situation. Massengil told Wrangler that it was his cash, knowing Dog E couldn’t call out to contradict that.
Up coming event:
President’s Cup R’ce
DISTANCE: 5,000 METERS | MONDAY JUNE 16TH, 2008 | 8:00 PM
Hash cash $22 if in by June 11
Application: http://sneakerfactory.com/pres08.pdf
On-Out,
Dog E Style
Scribe/On-Sec
DES/mmi
Appendix A:
In the Chinese calendar, 1963 was the year of the:
a. Rat
b. Dog
c. Hare
d. Cock
Wrangler is how old in dog years:
a. 7
b. 8
c. 9
d. 10
If Wrangler was a dog, how many human years would he now be?
http://www.onlineconversion.com/dogyears.htm
a. 8
b. 145
c. 193
d. 200
1963 in Roman numerals is:
a. MMVIII
b. MCMLXIII
c. MCMXCIII
d. OIEIO
Who is # 1?
a. RE Wrangler
b. RE Wrangler
c. RE Wrangler
d. All the above
None of the above was not an option.
Who does not share the same Birthday as Wrangler?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/May_21
a. Mr. T – Actor Laurence Tureaud; May 21, 1952)
b. Al Franken – Comedian Alan Stuart Franken (born May 21, 1951)
c. Barbi Benton – Playboy model (born 28 January 1950)
d. Jeffrey Dahmer – Serial killer (May 21, 1960 – November 28, 1994)
Ya gotta admit the resemblance is pretty striking.
This is a back check – go back to the last check and guess again!
7 years ago on June 4th, who was the hare at Wrangler’s first SH3 hash?
a. Finger-In
b. Alibi
c. Dogmeat
d. Papoose
The average garden snail moves at around 0.03 mph, just a little faster pace than a typical SH3 DFL. If it set out on your last birthday and moved non-stop for one year, it would have traveled:
a. 849 yards
b. 26.2 miles
c. 263 miles
d. 1018 miles
This is a “BOOB” check – Wait for 1st harrierette!
The Sultan of Brunei hosted the world’s most expensive birthday party to celebrate his 50th BD. The cost was US$ 27.2 million. Hash cash at Wrangler’s BD will be only $10 per person. The on-on will be at:
a. The Manor
b. Taco Bell parking lot
c. Clitty Litter’s house
d. LaStrada (355 Millburn Ave)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
