Summit Hash 1188

Summit Hash 1188
Date: November 22, 2008
Time: 3PM
Weather: a chilly 28°, perfect for hashing.
Place: Shrewsbury Ave, Livingston, NJ
Hare: Breaststroke
Hashers: (11) Anal Lick it All, Clitty Litter (NR), Dog E Style, Dogmeat, Keyhole, Massengil, Orgasmitron, Plattypussie, Rat Bastard, Seoul Brudda, and SOS

Start:
As described in his email, the hare mentioned the hash started at a nondescript park with no name and no sign. One proposal could be: “The new park next to the hill with the high tension line and electrical transfer station”, but that may be too wordy for a sign.
It may be imagination, but it seemed that the pack was late to arrive at the start. Those that got there a little early were very slow to get out of their cars. One’s explanation was that he wanted to listen to the end of the song. Another’s was he couldn’t make his socks fit right. In any event, only a Canadian and a notoriously weather-impervious hasher were comfortable standing in the parking area prior to the chalk-talk.

Trail:
One hasher’s estimation of the eagle trail: http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=2419069
The above depicted trail was shortened considerably for those chickens that opted out of the eagle flight and associated exposure and hypothermia risks.
Once in all noses, toes and fingers were accounted for. With little delay, the hare set up cups and slushy beers for the ensuing circle.
Circle:
The official scribe pen refused to give up its ink so any notes of the circle were left unwritten, and thus unremembered.
Some of the highlights featured the Grandmaster.
Rat Bastard, was accused of swiping a few wooden planks that were left in the woods.
The GM was also called into the circle when word got out that his green card just kept him from being deported. The sham wedding held on Whomp em’s deck sure came in handy. You see, Rat Bastard ‘married’ YAAC, and was awarded a Green Card.
It’s worth noting that in the procedure, YAAC would have had to:
• Prove that she can support the Rat at 125% above the mandated poverty line, by filling out an Affidavit of Support
The other way of achieving permanent resident status is through ones employer. Unfortunately for the Rat, the employer that Memory has no more use for his “expertise”, and sent him packing.

Financial sidebar:
Savvy hasher investors, should have used that news to buy up all available stock. http://finance.google.com/finance?client=ob&q=NASDAQ:MEMY
Had the hasher bought $1M worth of stock when the markets opened on Monday Nov 24, at $0.14/share on Monday, and sold it on Friday, for .59 they would have netted a cool $3,214,286 (Did Breaststroke get in on that opportunity?)

The US Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) website also lists other criteria to achieve permanent resident status. The grandmaster may have been aware, but now it’s time for the rest of the hash to have access to that information

Eligibility There are categories for granting permanent residence to foreign nationals based upon employment:
EB-1 Priority workers
• Foreign nationals of extraordinary ability in the sciences, arts, education, business or athletics
• Foreign national that are outstanding professors or researchers
Rat could have qualified, but maybe not as an athlete.
EB-4 Special Immigrants
• Foreign national religious workers
The Rat’s tenure as our Religious Advisor would certainly have qualified him on this count.

Meanwhile, back at the parking lot

The hare opted to conduct the circle in the frigid parking lot. He told the shivering schmucks that the On-On was “A family place, they wouldn’t understand if we tried to circle inside”. Later he would be proved correct.
The circle continued for a few other observations and accusations (Yes including the last of Dogmeat’s self promotion). It was abbreviated by the weather and the law.
The circle was brought to an abrupt end with the arrival of a Livingston Police sergeant. He sped into the parking lot with his spotlight trained on the now-empty beer cans next on the hood of the hare’s car. Without hesitation, the hare approached the cop and tried to explain things. Where in the Sgt. gave the hash excellent legal advice: “Hide the beer” in case one of the younger cops patrols by. The sarge even called out to “Mr. Johnson” for information about this event for his patrol log. Later the hare acknowledged that “I know that guy”. It’s good to be king…or at least a future first dude of Livingston.
The hare and pack then made themselves busy by cleaning up the crime scene by destroying any and all evidence.

ON ON
Breaststroke saw that as an excellent opportunity to vacate the premises. He directed the pack to Gaffers Pub in West Orange. As he predicted the place was packed but very warm and accommodating. The lovely waitress Debby “with and ie as in Debbie”, made sure the table was flowing with one of the many beers they had on tap. The food was mostly burgers, but excellent burgers –on par with the Roscommon House in Belleville.
Sooner or later the beer ran out, as did what was left of the pack.

On Out,

Dog E Style
Scribe, SHHH
DES/mmi