SummerVILLE MEMORIAL DAY HASH
“On Memorial Day in Somerville there are parties through the entire town. Bands will be playing, bikes will be racing, beer will be flowing and Hashers will be Hashing.” –Sick Dick
Summit Hash: 1155
When: Memorial Day, Monday, May 26, 2008, 12:00 pm.
Where: Parking lot behind 34 East Main Street, Somerville NJ 08876.
Hare: Sick Dick
Hashers: (18) Anal Lick it All, cereal Killer, Dancin’ Fool, Dog E Style, Finger In (NR), GI, Great Sex, Just Bernadette, Just Adrian, Lil Sacs, Massengil, No Genitals, Prodigy, Rear End Wrangler, Suck ‘em Up, Sweet Pee, Tub Slut, and Twatever
Excused absence: Rat Bastard, and YAAC (paddling)
Also: Anya, Calvin, Kyle, Leo, Lloyd, Lydia, and Quinn.
With the special start time, the pack was ready and eager for a world-class hash. What they got was a world-class race. No, that ‘r’ word doesn’t need to be censored, since it wasn’t a running race, it was gol-durned Bie-cycle races. This was an ‘event’, not just a hash. The Tour of Somerville was happening just outside Sick Dick’s apartment.
Trail:
The trail was promised to be “Short and clean”. For the most part, the hare delivered. Sick Dick, set the trail while sporting an ankle brace for sympathy points. The hare attempted to explain the nature of his injury and how he was a hero at the fire scene, but his oft-repeated tale was met with yawns and a quick retreat.
He enlisted the help of his friend Just Adrian to drop flour in designated spots. The trail followed the bike race course, generally staying a block or so from the cyclists. The hash pack got a few views of the cycle pack (peleton) on some of the preliminary races. The hare included some historical areas including a house that Washington schlepped in. Also as promised, “There will be an eagle and a stroller friendly chicken trail”. The hare held true to his words here too. He arranged three beer checks. Two were in the yard of his friends, the third being at Adrian’s house. Interestingly, the middle beer-check was under a bridge, which begs the question, “Does the hare have a troll as a friend?”
Each chicken/eagle section reunited with the other at the next beer check, that’s a nice format for any hash.
Circle:
The circle was more-or-less obligatory and abbreviated. There was racin’ to watch. Finger had a hand in the running.
FRB: Anal, Prodigy, Sweet Pee,DFL: Dog E, Wrangler, Dancin’ Fool.
Non-runner: Finger InVirgin: Just Adrian
Visitor: Dancin’ Fool
Reboot: Sweet PeeHanger On: Just Bernadette (formerly know as the Gucci Girlfriend)
For one or more of those recognitions, Lil Sacs led the pack in a hashed-out version of “The Hee-Haw song”. He was the only one who knew it –go figure.
Some more down-downs:
Stroller pushers: Anal, cK, Prodigy. Suck ‘em Up, Sweet Pee, and Twatever
Sick Dick for announcing that this trail would be “completely new”, when in reality, it was a clone of last year’s trail.
For being conned into hosting a beer check; Just Adrian
Those with better note taking skills and/or a longer attention span might have included other items on the above list.
With that the circle was mercifully brought to a swift conclusion.
Tour of Somerville
"The Kentucky Derby of Cycling" The Tour is the oldest bicycle race in the United States and a legend in the lore of bicycle racing.
The hare then gave a down and dirty orientation to the bike race. The race is ‘criterium’ style. The start/finish line was about 200 yards from the hare’s apartment. The racers would make 45 laps in the 50-miles race. He also mentioned that there was a nearby petting zoo, but warned against trying to pet the cyclists.
“Sit back and watch the race”
200 yards from the start finish line… but unfortunately 25 yards from the play-by-play speaker’s range. So for the hasher to find out what lap or who was ahead, they would have to walk that distance.
Watching the race was not for the fainthearted. The hashers saw at least two major Nascar-style crashes. Interestingly it wasn’t the sharp left turn that produced the mayhem; it was the rough asphalt on the straightaway. The “primes”, (cash awarded to lap leader) may have also contributed to the mishaps. Dog E, an avid cycling fan, gave color commentary and rule interpretation as the race was in progress. Of the 186 riders in men’s division only 108 finished
At one point, some nearby spectators tried to encourage their friend ‘Gilbert’ but alas, he was a DNF, nearly DFL.
A HARLEY-DAVIDSON rider led for most of the race, but as you will see from the below photos, he finished third.
“Lucas Sebastian Haedo from Argentina, the pre-race favorite, bypassed a crash on the last lap and won the elite men's 50-mile race by a tire's length, in 1:43.20”. –103 minutes! Damn!!
If the scribe’s math is right, if not look for corrections in this space, the peleton’s (pack) average speed was 29.1 MPH over the 50 miles
For magazine quality photos, click this link: Finger In on the shutter
http://www.kodakgallery.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?UV=680849493651_749209481307&collid=354581300207.914531351307.1213623160031&page=1
The bike race in progress Haedo’s winning moment Silver, Gold and Bronze
DFL WITH FPC
On Out,
DogE Style
Scribe, SHHH
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